Thursday, September 22, 2016

Shopkins

Shopkins.

I hate them. Yes, I hate them. They are tiny, annoying, plastic pieces of crap. I do not even understand them. What are they exactly? I googled "Shopkins - what are they?" This is what I found.

Shopkins is a range of small, collectable toys, manufactured by Moose Toys. Based on grocery store items, each plastic figurine has a face and unique name. The collectable toys (which are designated as common, rare, and ultra rare) have also spawned a line of books and trading cards, as well as a YouTube channel.

I am sorry, but that is NOT an accurate description of Shopkins. Shopkins are small plastic pieces of shit. Shopkins are over priced teeny toys. Shopkins are small toys that randomly show up under couch cushions. Some Shopkins are tiny charms that can even go down the bathtub drain. Shopkins create a huge mess. Shopkins are a tiny army that take over your house. Shopkins create drama. Shopkins are designed for imaginative play, but they are too small to enjoy other toys so Shopkins come with their own play lands. Shopkins do not create a sharing environment unless you have many Shopkins. Shopkins that are 'ultra rare' are sooooo special they do not get shared, but they get lost due to their size. Shopkins get eaten by the dog. Shopkins can fit up a nose. Shopkins can fit in the crevices of a car seat to never be seen again. Shopkins are the bane of my existence (for now).

Shopkins were created by the devil himself.

I hate Shopkins.

E1 and E2 LOVE Shopkins. Moose Toys markets to their demographics very well. Unfortunately for Moose Toys, my girls have no money and mama's money is done buying Shopkins.

                               (this is a fraction of the army of Shopkins that reside in my home)


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