Saturday, November 14, 2015


Why? I ask why all the damn time.

Why does it take so damn long to choose your panties when you are four? Seriously, just pick a different My Little Pony pattern and stop crying because the pony you originally wanted is dirty. We do NOT wear panties two days in a row. Every. Fucking. Morning. Why?

Why is it difficult for the seven year old to decide between a bath and a shower? Is she waiting for the house majority vote? That vote is just for cleanliness.

Why are socks an argument? The blisters always form when you go without socks so why is there even a why?

Why is wearing weather appropriate clothes a discussion? 85 degrees means no jacket. Heat stroke is not really something I would like to experience.

Why do the girls think we eat candy for breakfast? And why do they huff and puff when the answer is no?

Why do the girls think they can say they do not want to eat dinner and I won't send them to bed hungry? Learn. The. Lesson

Why is there so much laundry? How do two children add so many more loads??

Why does the seven year old SOAK her bathroom floor EVERY night? How the fuck does the water get out of the tub?

Why does buckling a seat belt require so much effort? Does one forget how to do it between each car ride?

Why is brushing your teeth something to lie about? And how about wetting your toothbrush if you are going to lie. How do you not know that this is the first thing we check? And your nasty breath is a dead give-a-way. Why do you still lie about this?

Why can no one find an 18 inch stuffed animal, but we know where every lost bead is.

Why is my oldest daughter a hoarder? The scrap of paper is TRASH.

Why do they still whine? Seriously, why?

Why is "Turn off the TV" so difficult to understand?

Why is "No" so difficult to understand?

Why can my child multiply but not chew with her mouth closed?

Why are manners so hard to learn? And using utensils? Why do they think they are cavemen?

Why the attitude? It makes me afraid for the teen years.

Why are their clothes on the floor? Is the hamper really that hard to find? It is in your closet. It has been there for five years.

Why do you still play hide and seek with the four year old? SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. Why do you get frustrated?

Why is there an agreement between them to be all sweet and kind in public and then a plan to be assholes at home?

Why, why, many questions with just one answer:
They are children.

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