Sugar and Spice

Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of.

BULLSHIT.

Things I have said to my GIRLS. (And trust me, there is more)

1. Don't punch your sister.
2. Don't push your sister.
3. Don't feed an actual mud pie made from sand to your friend.
4. Wash your body, including armpits and your vagina.
5. Yes, you have to take a bath.
6. Yes, you have to take a shower.
7. Fine, be the smelly kid at school.
8. Please do not tie the rope around your waist and jump from the tree.
9. Please do not tie the rope around the tree branch and swing from the tree.
10. Climbing the outer part of our play system is dangerous.
11. Fine. Climb it. Don't cry when you get stitches again.
12. Yes, you have to use soap.
13. Yes, you have to wash your hair.
14. Yes, you have to brush your hair.
15. Yes, you have to brush your teeth.
16. Do not throw sand at your sister.
17. Do not throw sand at the dog.
18. I am happy the dog did not bite you when you took his temperature rectally.
19. You are not a real vet.
20. Yes, we must throw that toy away.
21. Chew with your mouth closed.
22. Boogers are not food.
23. Get your fingers out of your nose.
24. Stop picking your wedgie.
25. Dirt under your nails is unacceptable.
26. Get off the dog, he is not a horse.
27. We do not eat off the floor.
28. It fell on the floor, do not eat it.
29. Yes, you have to take a shower.
30. Do not throw a toy at your sister's vagina.
31. Do not throw a toy at anyone's private parts.
32. Do not paint your sink with toothpaste.
33. Your toilet is clogged.
34. You did not wash your hands.
35. No you did not. I did not hear water running.
36. Wash your hands!
37. You did not wipe.
38. Then why is there no toilet paper in the bowl?
39. Toilet paper used for wiping does not go in the trashcan.
40. Do not stick the cheerio up your nose.
41. Do not stick the yogurt covered raisin up your nose.
42. Yes, we have to go the doctor to get the raisin out of your nose.
43. We do not wear panties two days in a row.
44. Yes, you have to brush your teeth.
45. Do not play pile on with your sister.
46. You farted. Say excuse me. Stop laughing.
47. You burped, say excuse me. Stop laughing.
48. Why is your bathroom floor soaking wet?
49. Are you wearing dirty clothes?
50, Yes, you have to take a shower.