Saturday, December 10, 2016


I thought we had put this topic to bed in our home. I thought we were a no sleepover house. What I thought is proving to be wrong....

Everyone has slumber parties! Everyone has sleepovers! My child is one of two in our little area of our huge community that is not allowed to spend the night. We made this decision years ago. Years ago when E1 was way more introverted. Years ago when E1 needed 13 hours of sleep to function. Years ago when E1 did not express her opinion.


How do I tell my daughter that I do not want her to spend the night at someone else's home because I am afraid. I am afraid because there are pedophiles at every corner. Literally. Just this week in our community, a pastor at a church was accused of this. How do I send my daughter to another house when children are not safe at church? 

I recognize that this fear is irrational on some level. I recognize that pedophilia has been around for quite some time and the media has brought more awareness to this situation. I also recognize that at 8 years old, I do not think my daughter is strong enough to say no. I do not think my daughter is strong enough to tell an adult whom she thought she could trust, no. I do not think my daughter is strong enough to endure what could happen if G-d forbid this happened. 

So now what? Do I tell her she can spend the night at this house and that house because we have known those parents for six years and I trust them, but the nice kid around the corner whom we have only known for two years, well her daddy might touch you. What the fuck? How do I even rationalize this thought in my head??? I know it is insane, but is it?? I am for real asking - how insane am I? 

E1 has left slumber parties early. And she leaves pissed off. I cannot blame her. I went to slumber parties as a kid. I am fine. Hell, I let E1 ride her bike around our neighborhood unattended, but I won't let her spend the night out. Obviously, my crazy has a line and that crazy comes out when the sun sets. 

After much consideration, agonizing, talking to myself, etc I am reconsidering the sleepover thing.

Step One: Admit I am a little nuts
Step Two: Have a sleepover at our house first
Step Three: Let her spend the night out and stop freaking out.

I do not know when step three will happen, but I do know I cannot put it off any longer. 
I do know that what I once thought could be a firm family rule needs to change.
I do know that after typing that sentence I am now reconsidering again and thinking why do I need to change the rule - We are the parents, we make the rules.
I do know that I sound crazy again.

I fucking hate sleep overs.

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